Bush gives Cheney "high-five" as soldiers die in Iraq

Washington, D.C.-- As word came of another deadly attack in Iraq, President Bush turned to Vice President Dick Cheney and said, "Yeah, baby! We got 'em where we want 'em! Gimme five!" Cheney slapped Bush's hand with only slightly less enthusiasm than the President offerred. An anonymous source indicated that this should not be ascribed to any disagreement with the President, but rather that the Vice President didn't want to take a chance on knocking any blockages loose "in the ol' ticker."

When asked about his exuberant display, Bush was quick to state that he certainly regretted any loss of life. "It's bad when anyone dies. I understand that. But lookee here-- an attack that big? That just shows how desperate the terrorists are. If things weren't going so well for us, they'd just do little bitty attacks. You know, like shooting spitwads at tanks and stuff, or short-sheeting Red Cross beds. I guess that school we opened in Fellatia [sic] or whatever must really have 'em scared."