There was a radio ad for some sort of anti-acne cream when I was a teenager that intoned ominously about the constellations of zits on your face. "Across your forehead, the Big Dipper. And on your nose, the North Star!" I used to think that ad was completely over the top.
Well no more.
Where this beast came from, I don't know but I feel like Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, or maybe W.C. Fields if you took his massive alcohol-induced monster of a schnozz and concentrated all the red intensity right on the tip instead of spreading the wealth around a little bit. I swear I can't even see around the damn thing without using a cardboard periscope, it's so blinding.
So, if you hear about some weird astronomical anomaly today, don't panic. It's just me.
Posted by Jason at June 23, 2004 12:03 PM