June 06, 2008

And you thought iMacs were simple

INT. basement office

JASON is sitting at his computer watching a progress bar stall out and stop. A message pops up on the screen indicating that the download has failed.

Jason

Argh. What the hell is up with the network?

He gets up and walks over to the DSL modem and shuts it off, followed by the Airport hub sitting next to it and two routers on the other side of the room. He pauses after unplugging the last piece of hardware.

JASON (CONT'D)

One...two...three...four...five...

He then reverses the process, plugging everything back in and checking to be sure that all the lights are green and happy. Once satisfied, he sits back down at his computer and tries the download again. After a few moments, it times out with an error message.

JASON (CONT'D)

Aahh...dammit! Alright, what's the tech support number?

INT. bASEMENT OFFICE, 20 minutes later

JASON

Ah-- there it is.

Jason picks up the phone and dials it. After navigating the interface, he gets a recording.

Tech support recording

We are sorry for the delay. Your business is important to us. Your call will be answered in...ONE...minute. Please stay on the line. While you are waiting, did you know that many technical issues can be solved by simply cycling the power on your DSL modem?

INT. baSEMENT OFFICE, 10 MINUTES LATER

Jason is cradling the phone under his ear as he plays absently with a Slinky.

TECH SUPPORT RECORDING

...business is important to us. Your call will be answered in...ONE...min--

Tech support 

AT&T Internet, how may I help you?

JASON

Yeah, my network speeds have gone in the toilet.

TECH SUPPORT

Okay sir, I'd like to have you cycle the power on your modem and PC.

JASON

I've already done that, and it didn't do any good. I've got something like six machines on the network, and don't really want to go through the voodoo of turning them all off. Can we just skip to the next step?

TECH SUPPORT

Uh...that's the only step I've got.

To be fair, we did ultimately get the problem here resolved, but the phone guy really didn't have much to offer.

Posted by Jason at June 6, 2008 07:43 AM